We Are Family

"We are family...get up everybody and sing!"

-Sister Sledge

It was the last day of school for our 8th graders and everybody was in the cafeteria watching a video montage of pictures and music celebrating our students' activities and growth over the past year.  The 6th and 7th graders were out of the building along with their team teachers and a few support staff, and I chose to stay back to spend some quality time with the 8th graders and to wish them well as they left our building for the last time.  The room was hot and stuffy, and the cafeteria tables weren't exactly the most comfortable (How on Earth did these students deal with eating at these tiny crowded things for the last three years?), but there we were, crowded together, laughing, cheering, and at times randomly jumping up to bust a move to our favorite song.

As the song "We Are Family" started playing, I paused to reflect on what I was seeing:  students of all different races, nationalities, languages, socioeconomic statuses, abilities, social identities and interests, family lives, genders, you name it, we've got it, mixed up together, laughing and supporting each other as the pictures flashed by.  In what normally are the most chaotic and divisive years of an adolescent's life, these students were totally integrated and interested in participating in this whole group activity.  

The pictures sparked little conversations and occasionally elicited cheers, and what I  particularly noticed (as a former middle schooler myself who is sensitive to subtle forms of bullying) was that the students never appeared to laugh in a taunting or negative way.  If they didn't have anything nice to add to the environment, they just kept it to themselves.  That was an especially nice moment for me.

I also noticed how much these people had grown and changed in just one year of their lives, which led me to realize that they had actually grown and changed even more amazingly over the past three years.  The timid 6th grade Latina girls who walked into my class the first day of school afraid to practice their English were now confidently signed up for English 9 Honors in the fall.  The boys with autism who began their middle school careers perfectly happy to do their own thing had found lasting friendships with each other.  The students who presented some of the most challenging 6th grade behaviors had made positive connections with adults in our building, and were nervously lingering around them afraid to leave their safe environment for the intimidating future of high school.  Our goofy intellectuals, socially aware peace soldiers, urban renegades, artists, poets, leaders, entrepreneurs...all were there and all were welcomed.  For the last time at this school, they would all hang out together as one big family.

Now families are not without their problems, but they do come with one amazing benefit:  no matter what you choose to do, no matter where you want to go in life, no matter how many disagreements we may have, you will always belong.  Over the past three years, I've watched these young people make friends, lose friends, and be confused by the actions of people they believe to be their friends.  I've watched them segregate themselves based on language or race or perceived common experience, and also integrate themselves based on self-selected cooperative group learning activities, sports, clubs, and leadership councils.  Students have grown from using stereotypes to challenging stereotypes, from asking for the answer to asking thought-provoking questions and finding their own answers, from righteous indignation to well-constructed arguments and debates.  These young people have grown from timid children to mature young adults, poised and determined to make their own way in life.

This is why I choose to teach in my building:  We Are Family

We are a school based on mutual respect and full-inclusion.  All kids, all abilities, learning together at all times.  There are three teams at each grade level, taught by three teachers who deliver core content (math, language arts, reading, social studies, and science) and intentionally do community-building activities with their students so that they are all able to trust one another and work together cooperatively.  An added bonus is that our 6th grade teams loop with their students to 7th grade, so students have the benefit of being in the same family environment for two years.  This allows teachers the time to really get to know students, for students to get to know teachers and each other, and for families and teachers to build positive, trusting relationships.  

Our school also has built a sense of community, almost familial, among staff in the building.  We often organize social events outside of school to get to know each other personally, and we collaborate professionally, participating in various leadership teams within the building and at the district level, and attending monthly schoolwide leadership meetings to make important decisions about events, partnerships, service delivery, school climate, and professional development needs.  We strive to discourage "teacher shopping" on behalf of our students so they see us as a united front, we use inclusive language in our conversations (these are ALL our students, not mine or yours), we try to find ways to integrate support staff and extended learning staff with core teams, and when substitute teachers cover for us, we try to remember to refer to them as "guest teachers" so students know that they are equally as competent and deserving of respect as any of the regular adults in the building.

I realize I could go on and on writing with rose-colored glasses about how wonderful my school is (trust me, we have room to grow, but overall I really do love where I teach), but I think that the proof of how our environment impacts kids is in their reactions to leaving our school that day.  

It was 2:37 and the bus had pulled up outside waiting to take our students home for the summer.  Staff were clustered along the sidewalk to give the kids one last hug or handshake as they left.  At about 2:38, the tears started to flow, and students showed just how much they love their teachers and friends by lingering around giving last-minute hugs or two, or three, before actually leaving.  And it wasn't just the students, either.  There were some teachers, including myself, who were trying our best to stay cool and be strong for the students so they didn't have any unnecessary added anxiety about leaving.  All around us were words of encouragement, thank-you's, and reminders to come back and see us to tell us all about the wonderful accomplishments they would have in high school and beyond.  We know that most won't come back, but the ones who do are always amazing.

So there it was.  The last day of 8th grade.  The end of a three-year cycle of students we had grown to love--despite annoying behavior, late assignments, personality conflicts, disconnects, and sometimes power struggles--closing a chapter of their lives and anxiously awaiting the next.  I look forward to hearing about their future successes.  Wherever they go in life, they are always welcome as another generation of our school family.

"Living life is fun and we've just begun
To get our share of the world's delights
(High) high hopes we have for the future
And our goal's in sight
(We) no we don't get depressed
Here's what we call our golden rule
Have faith in you and the things you do
You won't go wrong, oh-no
This is our family Jewel"

Best of luck, Class of 2017!  

We hope you always remember your middle school family!