"The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation for goodness."
-14th Dalai Lama
"Thanks! Have a nice night!"
I heard those words from the assistant manager every time I
clocked out from my shift at the job I had in college. I always replied
with the customary "You're welcome!" but would walk away secretly
puzzled that I was being thanked simply for doing the job that was expected of
me (I mean, it felt nice to be thanked, but didn't he realize I got paid to be there?). Now that I am
a classroom manager, however, I see what he was really doing every time he
thanked me. He was modeling respectful behavior and expressing
appreciation for my contribution to our workplace so that I would take pride in
my work and act the same toward him, our co-workers, and our clients. And
it worked.
I've taken the same principle and applied to the way I interact
with my students. Just like that manager, I believe that respect is both
earned and taught, and that it is my responsibility to model respectful
behavior toward my students so that they will learn how to be respectful toward
me and others. I, therefore, thank them at the end of every class so that
they are left with words of appreciation from their teacher. I use the
word "please" when asking them to complete challenging assignments,
and consistently point out their strengths and good character as they go about
their routines in our classroom. I explicitly teach them how to use
respectful language and we practice using formal register in our
language-focused classroom. We work together to establish norms for
respectful interactions, agree to positive behavior expectations to hold each
other accountable, and we do community-building activities to learn to
appreciate one another. When disrespectful behavior happens, we address
it and practice strategies for fixing it.
Once expectations for respect are established, taught, and
practiced, I spend the rest of the year reinforcing these interactions. I
try to greet each student individually as s/he enters the classroom, and take a
genuine interest in each of their lives often asking them questions to see how
they are that day, what the latest news is, and how their family members are.
I work to learn about their culture, in terms of both their youth culture
and their home culture, and am honest with them about the fact that I value what
they teach me. In turn, I teach them about my own culture, sharing
stories about my own family or my adventures as a lifelong learner.
My goal as an educator is to consistently be a role model for
these young people as they are learning to become positive members of our
larger community. I want them to know what it feels like to be
appreciated and treated respectfully so that they develop a high sense of
self-worth. I also want them to know how to show appreciation and respect
for others so that they can be models for them. When we show young people
our appreciation for their goodness and teach them how to be respectful, we are
making wonderful progress toward creating a more appreciative and respectful
community for generations to come.
